In May, 2012, Vicki Bolling lay dying in her front yard,
shot three times by her husband. The
local news reports say that the death of Ms. Bolling was no surprise to her
sons. According to news accounts, her
sons report that she suffered years of physical and emotional abuse that
included threats, manipulation and intimidation. She was married for 30 years. Her son, John Stevenson, is quoted as saying
“She is the only one in the world who could love a monster.” (Tampa Bay Times,
May 10, 2012)
We know that she is not the only one…we know that loving a “monster” is possible. For women that love psychopaths, love and monster often exist in the same thought. The problem is, someone who has never been in the midst of this level of psychological trauma may not understand…they don’t understand why women stay…why women don’t see how bad he is. This lack of understanding of the power of pathology is killing women.
Domestic homicide is preventable. The mission of the Fatality Review Committee
in Pinellas County, Florida is to convey that message. It is the responsibility of the Pinellas
County Fatality Review Committee to bring to the table members of the community
who share a vested interest in uncovering patterns related to local domestic homicides. In the last twelve years, the team has
reviewed 103 cases. Cases are reviewed
only after those cases have been finalized in the criminal justice system.
Domestic homicide, both locally and nationally, does not
occur in a vacuum…there are warning signs and in a community, there are trends. Our report, published in May 2012, outlines
the seven trends in our community for domestic homicides.
1-In 89% of cases there had been no contact with the local
domestic violence center. Domestic
homicide is preventable when victims reach out to domestic violence centers for
safety and resources.
2-In 89% of the cases there had been no referral to a
batterer’s intervention program. Domestic homicide is preventable when
perpetrators connect with batterer’s intervention programs and their underlying
behaviors and beliefs are addressed.
3-In 88% of cases there was a male perpetrator and female
victim. Domestic homicide is preventable
when our society shifts to the belief that all people are of equal value and
control over others is no longer the standard.
4-In 85% of cases there was no injunction for protection
filed. Domestic homicide is preventable
when victims are encouraged to file injunctions for protection and have access
to information and safety planning to assist in the process of leaving.
5-In 76% of cases substance abuse was a contributing factor.
Domestic homicide is preventable when
those who have a substance abuse problem are assessed for issues related to
violence, both perpetrators and victims.
6-In 68% of the cases the perpetrator had a prior criminal
history. Domestic homicide is
preventable when criminal history is identified as a pattern of behavior and
the information is made openly available to victims and during domestic
violence court hearings.
7-In 69% of the cases friends, family, coworkers and/or
neighbors were aware of previous violence. Domestic homicide is preventable
when everyone in the community takes a stand against violence; stop asking why
she doesn’t leave and start asking what you can do to help her leave.
These trends mean something.
A “trend” refers to the idea or awareness of repeated, connected
events. It’s not a black and white
predictor but rather a clue to a potential.
Trends are used in many areas of our lives. Many follow financial trends or housing
market trends; some look at trends related to medical issues and even trends in
our environment. Those that use trends
take advantage of facts and information found in the reality of our
lives…trends don’t rely on the maybe’s of the past but rather the truth that
exists in the past.
What is powerful about trends is their ability to provide
safeguards as well as hope. Trends help
us connect missing pieces to prevent poor choices and they help us highlight information
that will lead to improved choices. If
we are open to it, they translate into the framework for prevention.
Prevention in the area of domestic homicide is risky. The risk comes because of the severity of
getting it right or getting it wrong…human life is at stake. But I believe we must move through the
risk. By “move through” I mean
acknowledge it…learn from it and then see what follows. So, beyond acknowledging the risk lies a
focus on prevention.
The trends that have come from our local review of domestic
homicide highlight many areas that need more focus. The realities of these trends are not unlike
acknowledging the realities of pathology.
Identifying patterns of behavior in one person and accepting the reality
of who they are can help prevent continued pain. We have to begin to call it as it is…we have
to pay attention to the facts and the patterns of behavior.
So, what will you do? I invite you to be an observer-begin to pay attention to the people around you. As you observe the behavior of others do so without judgment…without including your “opinion” about who they are…leave out the morals that might have been handed to you or the input of society that doesn’t fit for you. Observe the behavior as it is…look for patterns… and when you uncover a pattern that violates who you are…or violates the boundaries of someone you love….do something.
As part of the mission of The Institute we ask you to spread
the word about the power and impact of pathology. Share this report with those
in your community that are invested in saving lives. Talk to them about the trends and patterns
and about pathology. Domestic Homicide
Fatality Review Teams are active in many states and communities…what can you
contribute to the conversation? If your
community is not talking about dangerous relationships then you can be the
start…do something.
Finally, if you are experiencing physical and psychological
abuse, please consider creating an Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit. To learn more, visit www.documenttheabuse.com
To read the full report “Preventable: A Review of Domestic
Fatalities in Pinellas County, Florida”, click here: http://www.largo.com/egov/docs/1337974149_814671.pdf
